On Humility and Conviction
And a prelude to more controversial writing.
I came to faith in the Calvary Chapel movement, which is something like a denomination… that refers to itself as non-denominational. For better or worse, I spent the vast majority of my early years of faith skeptical about denominations and their “legalism”, for that’s how this community spoke of them.
I didn’t actually know anything about denominations, mind you. Except, of course, that they were all “dead religion”.
To be fair, the leaders I was under in those early years of my faith may well have come from churches that were so focused on their liturgies and form, that they had created a sort of “dead religion”. For many, the burst of non-denominational churches in America in the late 1900s surely felt like a breath of fresh air, bringing to the center of the church the simplicity of the gospel and the love of Jesus.
By the time I showed up in the late ‘00s, things were more “event venue” than “radical for Jesus”. Teaching had become little more than public speaking, worship little more than shallow and popular songs led by skilled musicians, and “conviction” was more about agreeing with the (little “c”) church than about a willingness to by all-in for Jesus.
My experience is hardly special. Many millennials experienced the same and it led some to “deconstruction”, some to “apathy”, and other to exploring more ancient forms of Christian faith.1
Yet, I’ve always maintained my wariness of denominations, though, my reasons have since changed. In fact, it’s the changing that is the problem. I no longer believe that denominational churches are a bunch of homes for “dead religion”, but I’ve still kept my distance.
The thing is, so often denominations are denominations because they have drawn a line in the sand about a non-gospel related issue. They believe in infant baptism (or don’t). They believe women shouldn’t be pastors (or should). They believe Christ is literally present in the bread and cup (or think that idea is gross).
Or whatever.
Lines are drawn that create a sense of “the people who believe X worship over here, and the people who believe Y worship over there.”
To be fair, I’m painting denominationalism in its worst light and removing important elements of historicity that have gone into creating the (literal) thousands of denominations of Christianity worldwide. But I’m using the broad brush only to explain my personal hesitancy, not to describe the lived reality of many faithful Jesus followers in denominations.2
The thing is, for me, once upon a time, I divided myself up from the church on non-gospel related issues… a lot. There would be an issue that I (at the old age of twenty-two) was certain I had enough knowledge and maturity to call out in other Christians. Whether this was baptism, just-war theory, or women in pastoral leadership. I created conflict over these things and made sweeping statements about others who disagreed with me.
After the Lord disciplined me (a story for another time), I did my best to stop that sort of internal and external dialogue. And, since then, I’ve changed my thoughts on a vast array of topics regarding church life.
And it’s this idea, on my changing of thoughts and opinions, that will be the topic of my next few posts. I’ll be writing on some topics that, for many, are controversial. Yet I will rarely, if ever, be taking a distinct stance. Instead, I’ll be recounting my explorations and trying to shed light on the complexities of issues.
My goal isn’t to lack conviction by sounding “wishy washy” on various debates.
In fact, it’s about the very opposite.
Each of us only has so much gas in the tank regarding convictions and which hill to die on. In the church, when we choose to fight over who can be in the pulpit, whether or not someone is “elected” regardless of free will, or whatever else, we are nearly always meandering away from that which is the only thing worthy of our total and utter conviction: Christ and Him crucified.
A Church truly full of conviction would also be a very diverse, and conversely very united, Church.
So, I’m prayerful that a more frank exploration of my journey on these issues will help each of us love one another better, find a sense of humility, and become more convicted about Jesus’ Lordship.
Or I suppose you could rail against me in the comments.
We’ll find out next week.
Surely, there were many other factors involved as well, other than corporate forms of church.
With a note of irony, I should add that my wife and I have joined an Anglican church. So… I guess I’m Anglican now?