What if my art causes someone to "stumble"?

Or, "Why Maybe You Should Watch 'Jerry Maguire'... but maybe you shouldn't."

This essay is also available in an (AI-free) video format here.

Recently, my wife and I watched Jerry Maguire for the first time. A not-so-small part of me wants to write a piece on how that movie did far more for my marriage than Fireproof (or indeed, any other “Christian” film) did, and how you should check it out.

The problem is, it’s rated “R” for no small amount of language and sex scenes which some may view as “graphic”.

I’d like nothing more than to analyze how those sex scenes showed nuance conflict within our protagonist and ultimately pointed to the idea that true romantic fulfillment came when he realized his wife was a completion of himself in a way that he couldn’t be alone—that all the success in his career was meaningless if she wasn’t there to share it with him. The sex scenes didn’t give me pornographic thoughts, nor did I feel like a voyeur. Instead, they pointed to a hollowness in the protagonist that I could relate to.

After the credits rolled, my wife and I held each other and I reflected on how my life is so much sweeter and more beautiful beside this woman who I’ve become “one flesh” with. And isn’t that what Jerry says at the end, when he looks his wife in the eyes and says, “You complete me.”

Except, I won’t write that piece nor will I recommend the movie to just anyone. What was edifying for me may well become adulterous thoughts for another couple. Or more subtly, the movie may create a sense of envious longing that makes someone discontent in their singleness (or in their struggling marriage).

The movie is—in a sense—static. It’s made. Done. Unchanging. But we, the viewers, are fluid and unpredictable. We come to the film with different struggles, different predispositions, different levels of maturity in Christ.

In my article, Maybe Christian Art Shouldn't Be "Clean", I argued that art isn’t Christian or not based upon whether or not it contains content deemed “clean”, but instead based upon whether it leads the reader to draw the same conclusions about humanity, the world, and God that the Bible does. Yet, that leaves open the door that graphic sex, violence, and other sinful behavior may be contained within art that is Christian.

That is a door I intended to leave open and a challenge I desired to pose.

However, the conversation shouldn’t end there, nor do not give license to artists to simply create whatever as they see fit. No, the older I get the more persuaded I am that truly great artists are those who contain both a reckless desire to tell the truth and a fearful longing to do it wisely.

It’s never as simple as I’d like it to be.

My Brother’s Conscience

Too often, Christians get the very strange idea that someone can be identified as “Christian” based upon what they believe. Of course our beliefs matter, and there is an orthodox faith that we must adhere to in order to call ourselves Christian.¹ However, Christians are identified by our works of love. I believe this is what Jesus meant when He said to His disciples, “By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another.”²³

If I say I have certain beliefs that align with the Christian faith, but I do not love my brothers and sisters in Christ, I am a liar. This point is so numerous in the New Testament writings that it would be hard to make a exhaustive list of verses which support it.⁴

One nuanced area of Christian love deals with “stumbling blocks”, elaborated on by Paul in Romans 14.⁵ In this chapter, Paul is addressing the conviction that some Christians in Rome held—that Christians should conform to certain dietary restriction. In a multicultural church in which the corporate eating of food was deeply sacred, this was no small issue. Although Paul says that food doesn’t make someone clean or unclean, he urges that those “stronger” in the faith (i.e. those comfortable eating all foods) should accept those who are weaker (i.e. not comfortable eating all foods).

Accept them. Not change them.

The passage doesn’t end there, of course, and it’s worth reading in its entirety. One idea is clear though: believers should consider loving one another a far greater thing than beliefs about what does and does not make their brothers or sister “clean”. And, furthermore, they should not judge one another in these matters.

The wild thing about this passage from Paul is that faithful followers of Jesus can come to radically different conclusions on relatively important matters of life, and both be justified before the Lord provided they are “acting in love”.

So, if I were a Christian in Rome listening to Paul’s letter, I should feel convicted to put aside my preference to eat pork (for example) so that I don’t make my fellow believers uncomfortable. Loving them is better and more important than convincing them.

You can likely already see the intersection here with art, but let me tell a personal story that may set our stage a tad closer to the mark.

Censoring The Tragedy of Oli Ricker

Leilah Wright was my primary line editor for The Tragedy of Oli Ricker (and she leads our imprint Living Tome Publishing as a whole). One day, about midway through line edits, she called me up to have a serious conversation.

“Phil,” she said. “We need to talk about swear words. You use a lot of them.”

Immediately, I began my defense that swearing isn’t a sin—this is how characters talk, and Christians have totally misidentified the use of language because of purity culture and blah, blah, blah. I ended with the zinger, “and besides, I’m not writing for the Christian market anyway.”

In her wonderful way, Leilah listened. Nodded. Listened some more. Then, after much rambling from me, she said, “I understand, but just because we aren’t writing for the Christian market doesn’t mean we need to alienate other Christians either. And Phil, there are a lot of swear words.”

There were, in fact, many swear words. Still, I wasn’t persuaded that the book would be served well by censoring them all. I was worried the text would feel sterile, neutered, and cheesy (in other words, 90s Christian). I was, however, persuaded that Leilah would feel loved and respected if I wrestled over the issue. So, I went through every instance of a swear word⁶ and worked to ensure there was truly no other way to get the emotion/meaning across.

In nearly every instance I found either a fine substitute, or I was able to seriously improved the overall writing of those sections. We ended with less than a dozen swear words that I felt truly added to the art, and cut the rest.

I didn’t do that work to make the book “clean” or to make it more palatable to certain audiences, though perhaps that happened. I did it because Leilah is my sister in Christ and she is infinitely more important than my art. More important to me. More important to Christ.

I can’t say I’m writing something that glorifies Christ if I refuse to love my brother and sister in the process. No art on this earth will ever give the Father and the Son the glory they deserve, no matter how hard we try. No, it is only offering up my life to Christ, wholly and completely, that can even come close… and that means loving His Church sacrificially—even if I have to fully surrender my preferences regarding the creation of my own art.

The Complicated Issue of Scale

I believe Jerry Maguire is a great film for mature Christian couples to watch. It could also be an experience which causes some to stumble into sin. Which is both obvious and profound, when you consider it: the same piece of art could edify or cause sin.

The issue isn’t in the art, necessarily, provided the art is “true” in the deepest sense of the word.⁷ The issue may be in the person who is consuming the art, for their faith may be weak, their walk infantile, or their struggles simply different than mine.

This is a bit easier when it comes to recommending movies, shows, books, and music. Generally, in a public setting, I’m careful to recommend very little. Instead, I get to know people in my community and make recommendations as our relationships grow. To some people in my life I’d say, “go watch this”. Others, I’d just not bring it up.

But I wrote a book.

And then I put that book into the world.

Most people who interact with my art are not people I know. And, as sobering as it is to consider, it is possible that my novel may be used by forces in the spiritual realm to put a stumbling block before another believer.

I suppose I could rant about how those other believers are “weak of faith” and try to wrestle them into seeing the world through my eyes… and I think there is a time for that sort of prophetic message. But generally, I think it is best to listen to Paul and to “accept the one whose faith is weak”.

So, have I done wrong by putting out a book that wasn’t “clean” in the evangelical cultural sense of the word? Is my only option going forward to make only “clean” art so as to offend no one?

Well… no.

Frankly, “clean” art is often offensive in its own way, for it paints a picture too unreal to be edifying. Plenty of people would feel “offended” by sterile art, and many have “stumbled” away from the faith because of a Christian culture that tells lies by omission.

So maybe I should just put sensitivity warnings on on my work and only market to those who “can handle it”. That could be an option, I suppose. But people are terrible judges of what they “can handle”, and so that surely won’t always work either.

No, I think there is only one answer, really.

I write for one person at a time.

The Tragedy of Oli Ricker was written for my wife, Brittany. I’m grateful for anyone else who reads it, and for how the Holy Spirit may use it. However, no one else is the book’s true audience. Only Brittany.

Each article I write usually has someone in mind as well. A specific someone I want to speak to. Sometimes, admittedly, they are a made up person in my head. A fictional John Doe to lecture at. But my best pieces have a true person fixed in my mind.⁸

Friend, we are too finite of people to make art for the world. The world is too large and we are too small and foolish. All art that resonates naturally with the world is of the world, and is no true help at all. That is simply not an option for those of us who are in, but not of, the world. Naturally, art that is not of the world will find no place in the world, and thus have no potential to change the world.

Unless the Holy Spirit intervenes, that is.

You see, God is very keen to take small and weak things and use them for His glory. Quarters dropped into an offering plate become investments of infinite value in the Kingdom. Coats quietly removed and handed to the shivering poor are like robes draped over Jesus’ shoulders. Prayers hummed by dementia-laden elderly become marching order for heavenly hosts. Forgiveness whispered aloud in dark bedrooms heal wounds impossible to see with our spiritually-cataract eyes.

How much more so the songs made for friends, stories written for wives, sketches scrawled for the pure joy of it… would God not rejoice to use those small offerings too?

When you dream about writing to “build a business” you’ll make art that tries desperately to scale, and it will become mere spit on the surface of an ocean of flotsam. But art made by one image-bearer out of love for another… I mean, this is the stuff of the Kingdom. The stuff that pleases the Lord, that gets Heavenly hosts excited, and the Holy Spirit saying, “now that I am pleased to use.”

A Little Caution Goes a Long Way

Today, I believe a Christian is best served by wisely consuming art that pushes the boundaries of “clean” in order to tell stories that are true. This, I think, is one manifestation of Christian maturity.

However, many people reading this grow excited because they see my stance as justification to go watch an R-rated movie while others grow concerned that I’m encouraging the consumption of unhealthy media which leads thoughts astray.

Please, friends, through prayer and wise counsel in your own local church, come to your own conviction and be convinced in your own mind. Do not see me as someone looking to persuade and change, only present a loving perspective to be brought before the Lord.

For those of you who lean towards writing on the “edgy” side (or whatever the kids call it these days), please be sure you have a Leilah in your life. If you don’t, then don’t write those “edgy” things. Art from community is far more likely to edify than art made alone.

For those of you who lean towards the “clean”… good. I have no desire to change you. I ask only that you pray and ask the Lord why you shy away from certain “unclean” elements of art.

But, despite all that I’ve said on the matter, I believe one simple saying will go along way. It’s silly, and very quaint, but very true.

When in doubt, do without.

You won’t stand before the Lord and hear Him say, “gosh, I really wish you would have watched Jerry Maguire”. No, the Lord’s conversation with you will deal with whether or not you loved Him and loved others.

And in regards to love, be blameless.

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. All that you do must be done in love.

1 Corinthians 16: 13-14 NASB

1. This orthodoxy, I believe, is outlined in the Apostle’s Creed.

2. John 13:35 NASB

3. See also Jesus teachings on knowing someone by their fruit in Matthew 7: 15-20:
”Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.” (NASB)

4. Here is a quick list from Open Bible to peruse:

5. See below Romans 14: 1-2, 12-23 (NASB)

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.

[…]

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

6. I am far too embarrassed to tell you how many there were.

7. See my article “What is Christian Art?”

8. Fun fact, this piece is actually in response to a comment from Brandon Wilborn, so shout out to him.